Random Thoughts

I’m both feet in or nothing at all
I’ve survived a broken heart before
I’m not afraid to walk away
I’m not afraid to feel the pain

So much stronger for my trials and tribulations
The tears I’ve cried should have been cries of jubilation
I learnt more from looking stupid
Than seeming a success

I want to talk to you, converse
Not about the superficial day to day weather
Let’s talk about the storm inside
Why do you rage, wind whipped oceans of emotions

I know you hide it well behind your sunny smile
But let’s drop the facade for a while
How can I actively listen to you
When you don’t actually communicate

Paint my fingernails, cut my toenails
And wonder what it’s like to be beautiful
Smash the mirror reflecting imperfections
And hide behind a painted face
Outfits donned to distract
From the beauty I lack

Some seek enlightenment, I wish to go back to bed
Switch off the constant searching, querying voices in my head
Seeking the person behind your projection
It’s draining me, a futile preoccupation

A faint smile alongside lonely eyes
Do you long for the connection?

• Jane Burd
 September 2010